How to Find a Rad Therapist: Getting on Consultation Calls
Once you’ve reached out to some potential therapists, they will usually respond by offering a free consultation call. This will be an opportunity for the both of you to see if you’re a good match for each other. You can ask if the consultation call will be by phone or video call, or you can make a request if you have a preference. The consultation call is your chance to expand upon some of the questions you may have briefly touched upon in your initial message. Here are some examples that you can use to get deeper with a potential therapist before you make a decision on who you want to go with on your therapy journey.
Payment: If you’re trying to use insurance, make sure to ask your potential therapist whether they take your insurance. Just remember that if you have PPO insurance, your therapist isn’t actually involved in the reimbursement process. You can contact your insurance company directly to find out how much they’ll reimburse you per session and how you can go about getting that money back. Remember to also ask therapists how much they charge per session (legally, this should also be on their website too). Many private practice therapists do have some space set aside for sliding scale clients. Think about how much you can afford per session, and don’t be afraid to ask a therapist if they are able to accommodate your fee.
What to ask:
“Hi, I’m able to afford $100/session, do you have space for a new client?”
“Do you accept United Health Care HMO insurance?”
“I have PPO insurance, what’s your process of providing superbills?”
Identities: Although having shared identities does not necessarily mean that someone will be the therapist you need, it can be a profound experience to meet with someone who can resonate with some of your life experiences beyond a theoretical understanding. What are some of those identities that may be valuable to you? I learned in my own journey that many white therapists couldn’t hold my experience or connect with my values. Plus the added legacies of systemic racism living in my nervous system made me realize that I just need to have a BIPOC therapist, period dot.
What to ask:
“I’m looking for a therapist who identifies as QTIBIPOC and as an artist. How do you identify?”
“What are some identities that are important to you?”
“I need a Korean therapist who isn’t hung up on patriarchal ideas of gender”
Values: Take some time to reflect on some values that you need to share with your therapist. I believe that it is impossible to share every single value with someone, but you can have a baseline of foundational values that you do need to share. If you’re processing a lot about your immigrant family, you may need a therapist who shares your values around understanding how imperialism, colonialism, occupation, and war has affected you and your family’s experiences. For myself, I learned that I need a therapist to have a neurodivergent framework, or else they might not understand some basic things about my communication, how I think, how I feel, or how I process information.
What to ask:
“How do you think about autism from a neurodivergent framework?”
“I need a therapist who gets how war and imperialism in Guatemala has affected my family, their mental health and my relationship to them.”
“What does abolition mean to you, and how does it inform your work?”
“I need you to not pathologize me. What’s your take on that?”
Experience: Different therapists specialize in working with specific communities. As a therapist who works with folks 5 years old to 65 years old, my approach to working with a 5 year old looks very different from my approach to working with a 16 year old, or someone in their 40s. Depending on your age, or if you’re supporting a young person, a caregiver, or a friend looking for therapy, you can ask the therapist what their experience is in that area.
Therapy also looks really different for individuals versus relationships versus family therapy. It can help to find a therapist who has experience and/or training in the specific service you’re looking for. If you are ethically non-monogamous or looking for someone who is kink-aware, you can definitely ask about that as well.
What to ask:
“I’m 58 years old, have you worked with people my age?”
“I’m looking for a therapist for a 12 year old child. How’re you with middle schoolers?”
“I’m looking for relationship therapy with my two partners. What’s your training or experience with relationship therapy? And what’s your experience working with ENM folks?”
Training: Some folks may have a specific modality they’re looking for, such as CBT, EMDR, or psychodynamic. (Disclaimer: Most people who aren’t therapists are not familiar with these things, so it’s normal if you don’t know what I’m referring to! You can take a look at other articles on our blog, or on our methods tab to learn more if you’re interested.)
Nokdu specifically has therapists who are trained in three different areas:
Cognitive therapies (i.e. CBT, DBT, ACT, Gottman, etc.) target the rational part of your brain, and support you in making sense of things, identifying the ways you may interpret subjective experiences, or unearth core beliefs you have about yourself, other people, and the world. These therapies can be useful to gain intellectual understanding and concrete coping skills to use in difficult moments. DBT has specifically been found to benefit folks with depression, anxiety, Borderline, repeated thoughts or actions of self harm, and suicidal ideation. Our therapists Ariadna Armenta, Arthur Sun and Gonji Lee are trained in cognitive modalities. You can reach out to them for a consultation call to learn more.
Somatic therapies (i.e. EMDR, brainspotting, IFS, Sensorimotor, Somatic Experiencing, etc.) support your subconscious brain and nervous system in their healing processes, because that is where our trauma is stored. When someone feels activated after receiving feedback because it reminds them of being yelled at and criticized by a parent, it is sometimes not necessarily a “logical” response. Our nervous system goes into fight, flight, freeze mode and we go through a series of reactions that can feel automated. Somatic therapies can support us in connecting back to our physical bodies, healing our nervous system so that traumatic experiences feel more like a distant memory and less like it’s happening to you in real time. You don’t have to have what the DSM calls “PTSD” for somatic therapy to be helpful. Most of us have experiences that continue to live and repeat cycles in our bodies, whether it’s from feeling like you have been alienated by others, called lazy in school, or pushed to grow up too fast to support parents. Our therapists Ariadna Armenta, Gonji Lee, and Jeffery Park are trained in somatic modalities. You can reach out to them for a consultation call to learn more.
Psychodynamic therapies (i.e. Attachment, Emotionally-Focused Therapy, etc.) support you in connecting your past experiences to your current self. The framework uses “insight” as the key vehicle for change, so that if you know where your pain or problem is stemming from, you can then achieve transformation. It also relies heavily on the relationship between the therapist and the client, as the dynamics in the therapeutic relationship are often a mirror of larger patterns. Psychodynamic therapies can be useful for folks with complex trauma where trust with the therapist is key. Our therapist Gina Ali is trained in a psychodynamic framework. You can reach out to them for a consultation call to learn more.
While many of these therapies do tend to be helpful for specific areas, ultimately it depends on your individual preference. Most of us won’t know what we like until we try it out. I used to scoff at IFS when I first read about it, but was shocked at how much my whole world changed when I tried it out.
It’s also imperative to point out that many of these therapies are attributed to white, cisgender, heterosexual, affluent, & able-bodied people. It takes a lot of resources and social capital to be able to get a therapy modality to be considered “evidence-based”. In fact, many of these approaches have been appropriated from BIPOC traditions and practices without any recognition, and monetized to fill the pockets of said mainly white, cisgender, heterosexual, affluent & able-bodied people (read more about it here & here). So naturally, all of these modalities possess their own unique set of limitations and problems from a systemic point of view. Many BIPOC therapists find ways to take what feels useful from these therapies and leave the rest behind. You might want to ask your therapist how they contend with that in a consultation call if it feels important to you. Also, most therapists may use their own combination of different modalities. For example, I personally am not a psychodynamic therapist, but am heavily relational in my style. I also integrate Brainspotting, CBT, DBT, and IFS into my work with folks based on what their unique circumstances are.
Here are some additional ideas for questions to ask in a consultation call:
How do you feel about working with a person of [insert identities]? What’s your experience?
Race, ethnicity, neurodivergent identities, gender, sexual orientation, relationship orientation, class, age, parenthood, countercultures, etc
How do you feel about disclosing about your own experiences?
Have you done therapy yourself?
Why did you become a therapist?
How do you respond to feedback? How do you feel about giving feedback?
Based on what I shared with you, how do you think your therapy approach can help me?
What does a typical session look like?
How should I prepare for our first session?
Do I need to prepare things in between sessions in general?
How long do you usually work with clients? What is the timeline based on?
How will you address it if we find that we have shared community?
What is your stance on abolition? How do you feel about calling the cops or about involuntary hospitalization?
What is your understanding of disability justice?
What do you think about the DSM and diagnoses?
How do you continue to learn and grow in your practice? (i.e. Do you engage in professional consultations? Do you take workshops or engage in bookclubs?)
How will we know when it’s time to transition out of therapy?
What is your perspective on giving “homework” to clients?
